Wednesday, September 07, 2005

For my sister

7 things I want to do before I die
1. Travel to China, India, Africa
2. Have children
3. Write a book
4. Have a winter house in New Mexico
5. Live closer to my sister and my nieces
6. Spend more time with my extended family
7. Take an European Cruise

7 things I can do
1. Make a mean chili
2. Problem solve
3. Make decisions
4. Make a quilt
5. Create, Develop, and Write an idea
6. Emote
7. Really clean a house

7 things I can't do (at the moment)
1. Stop eating junk
2. Save money
3. Play sports
4. Consistently work out
5. Find my clothes and music/movies
6. Fight without crying
7. Delegate

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. Tall dark and handsome
2. Sense of humor
3. INTELLIGENCE
4. Smile, Eyes
5. Legs
6. Confidence
7. Risk taker

7 things I say most often
1. I am tired
2. Holy cow!
3. Sure
4. SWeet pea (when talking to my cat)
5. You're touching me
6. No.
7. I want to bite you (and he lets me)

7 Celebrity crushes
1. Jon Stewart
2. Johnny Depp
3. John Taylor, Duran Duran
4. John Cusack
5. Jon Bon Jovi
6. Matthew McConaughy
7. Robert Downey Jr
(apparently, I have a thing for Johns', who knew)

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Life and Death

I am especially exhausted tonight so this will be short.

The funeral was for my friend Candace'e mother. Maggie was 83 and about two weeks ago she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The doctors' predicted she would live three months. She died in 10 days. She went fast but she was in good spirits. She had made her peace and she was ready to go. It was a lovely service for a lovely woman.

I love children at funerals. They represent the circle of life. Maggie had two great grandchildren at the service and her granddaughter Cheryl is pregnant. By the way, I put a smile on my face, wore a dress of my mother's and got several compliments. It is all about attitude.

Here is my Horoscope for today, I am hoping this is a good indicator of things.

Aries
This is a time of new beginnings, dear Aries. Whether you are aware of it or not, you are more than ready to take on some new challenges. You have allowed yourself to become complacent about your career. You have the ability to make a major step up, why not do so? All that is required is a bit of effort on your part. Figure out what your ideal job would be, and then pursue it. Or, better yet, create it!

Voyager Tarot Card for Tomorrow.
Purity, Two of Wands

Guidebook Interpretation:
White candlelight is symbolic of purity. Like the untainted white snow and the impeccable white lotus, you are clean of character impurities. Purity, as the natural light of the candle, means being authentic and natural - be true to yourself without the contamination of outside conditioning. White light, the crystals, the window and lotus reflection represent purity of perception. See things as they really are, unhampered by prejudicial preconceptions. Pure white energy means living without artificial stimulants, chemicals and drugs. Pure, you are a window to others for seeing their path. Be a guiding light.

My Interpretation: Not real sure about this one. Except to say that the more real I get, the more honest I am with myself and others the better off I am and will be.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

GRRumpy

I am feeling fat! I have a funeral to go to tomorrow and I having nothing flattering to wear to that kind of an event. I just annoyed myself to no end trying on things that make me look awful. And I get to wear one of them tomorrow. Yippee.

All I hear is my mother saying "well you know what to do. Time to get serious on that diet." Grr Hiss

Okay enough belly aching. I have to go to bed so I can go to work at 6:00am tomorrow.

Voyager Tarot Card for Tomorrow
Success, Ace of Worlds

Guidebook Interpretation:
Worldly success means being fully established, which is symbolized by the solidity and wholeness of material spheres such as planets. The planets of our solr system, being interrelated, symbolize the success of having it all together on the material plane. Now is the time to get it together. Organize, partner, synergize. Make sure you acknowledge the success that you are already!

Each planet indicates your success in a particular sphere of worldy life, and its double shows how achieve it. Succeed in your financial affairs (Jupiter) through Jupiterean expansion, in your work (Saturn) through Saturian discipline and hard effort, in your social relationships (Moon) through your emotional sensitivities and communication (Moon), in your home (Earth) by being at home and taking care of it (Earth), and in your physical health (Sun) by being Sun like, physically active and exercising for greater energy.

My interpretation: HMPH!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Passion

What is my passion? I have no idea. I have so many varied interests that this one question has haunted me for most of my life. I just bought a magazine called Worthwhile that is about doing what you love. I bought last month's issue and I really enjoyed it. So I bought this month's and what is the cover story? "Quest: Tales of the Search for Passion" I have had a lot of signs lately that I am ready to truely take the time to explore all the possibilities in front of me.

Now all I have to do is read it.

Voyager Tarot Card for August 26th 2005
Dullness: Seven of Crystals

Guidebook Interpretation:
The mind, like the crystal, can be rock-heavy, dense and opaque. Dullness of mind is the side of your mentality that lacks curiosity, is slow-moving, set in its ways, incapable of flights of imagination and closed to outside ideas and inspirations. Dullnes is your state of mind when you feel blocked. Open up, look around, be curious.

Dullness is also the mind's safety valve; it shuts down your thinking when you are fatigued and confused. Relax your brain. And Dullness can be very down-to-earth, practical thinking. Don't be sensational, just realistic.

My thoughts:
Well this sums up exact what I am doing and why I feel this frustration and exhaustion. I am going to take the advice of relax and be realistic not sensational. We will see what comes of this.

If you don't have your own Voyager Tarot Deck. Go here to pick a Card of the Day.
http://www.voyagertarot.com/cardaday.html

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Frustration

It is time for me to move on. The world is spinning on and I am feeling left out. I must start job seeking in earnest. I can't stand the lack of intellectual stimulation at my current paycheck. I am a babysitter of adults.

This week I received a lead from a friend I know through a women's group I am involved in. It may not be the right thing for me but I am just pleased people are thinking of me and who knows what might happen, right?

A colleague of mine in my current job is also trying to leave. I suggested today that we meet once a week to encourage each other to get our acts together and leave this pop stand. I think she is excited about the idea. I am happy to have her to bounce ideas off of but until I see myself engage I won't be happy with myself.

I will keep you posted and try to update more often.

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English
35% Yankee
15% Upper Midwestern
0% Dixie
0% Midwestern

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Motomom Questions

1. Where were you when the twin towers were hit on Sept. 11, 2001?

I was in bed. My alarm went off and I heard the news report that the towers were hit and the Pentagon and I honestly thought it was a joke newscast. Like War of the Worlds.

2. Where were you when Reagan was shot?

I was at Girls Scouts. My sister apparently was at Camp Fire. Which really surprises me since I thought you were done long before that time. I was at Dawn Snow's house. She was so horrified and I remember being unconcerned and a little surprised at what a big deal it was.

3. Where were you when John Lennon was shot and killed?

I don't remember that one.

4. Where were you when the Oklahoma bombing occured?

I was working at a temp job. I was a receptionist at at law firm in downtown Portland. It was my birthday.

5 Where were you when you heard OJ Simpson was declared not guilty?

I was in Wilmington, Delaware. I was on a business trip with my boss. He and I had just left a school and were traveling back to our hotel rooms. We pulled over to the side of the road to hear the announcement and I remember how mad Victor was that OJ got off.

6. Where were you when Princess Di was killed?

I was at Mom and Dad's watching a movie when the first reports of the car accident came out. I heard she died on my way home, getting off the freeway of the Terwiliger Exit.

Possibilities

On my journey of self discovery, my favorite and most exciting part is how many possibilities exist for me now. Eight months ago I felt very trapped and suffocated. Now I am overwhelmed sometimes thinking about all this things I would like to pursue...professionally, socially, leisurely.

Right now I am working as an hourly supervisor at Target. This is something I never thought I would do. My ego said I am too good for this. My pocketbook said you need a job now. My self esteem said I am so beat up from fighting with my husband, the failure of my business (read myself),that trying to find a job I was qualified for was too scary. So Target fits me just fine for right now. I am taking this less than desirable job and choosing to make it a learning experience. I have never managed anyone before, now I have 30 employees. I can learn new skills. Since I don't have a job I take home with me, I can take the opportunity to enrich myself. Even though at times I am frustrated with the smallness of my income, I have the opportunity to recreate myself into someone I am proud of and comfortable with...and that is a gift.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Stuff

I have a lot of stuff. As I am currently confined to a single bedroom, I only have with me what fits, or almost fits, in this room. However, I spent the morning rearranging the 'stuff' I have in storage. Stuff I pay $97.87 a month to keep. I went there specifically to find several items that I needed right now...a fan, summer clothes, a few office related things, and music. While I came back with most of those items (I couldn't find my music--which means--gasp--it is somewhere in my garage) I realized I could really do without most of the stuff I pay to keep. If only this decision was mine alone. My husband, you see, is a pack rat of the very worst nature. Oh well, this is temporary and I will be able to have my stuff back in one place and the opportunity to toss what I chose soon enough.

In the meantime, I am happy that I found the items that will do me the most good right now. I think I will go now to make room for these small treasures.

Question of the Day
Who was your favorite Bloom County character?